Charles Dickinson's Dilemma

When Charles Dickinson wrote "this is the best time; this is the worst time," I believe he was having an affair with his work colleauge. That's right, here we go agin, I am having a relationship with someone who is not my official boyfriend. I couldn't help but wonder, if this is really my tendency, or it just happens coincidnetally once a while in my life?

Back to my prior relationships, not I am so pride of it, but why this kinda shit happens agin and agin on me? Another day I confessed to J that I was having a relationship with Yi-Chiang while I was in the U.S. I regards the memory existing between Yi-Chiang and me as the worst nightmare that I could have and I have sworn that I will never make the same mistake again. I mean, both of us did not get any benifit from the affair, and we wound up in hating each other and heartbreak. I never know what I was thinking back to then, and I realize that i was not thinking at that moment; the major mistake was I took it for granted. I shoulda fought to my very last conscious and sensibility but I failed to do that. I did not even bother to try it. I surrendered, and now I eat what I shit.(Sounds very fair)

Once again, I am making mistake..and it is a taboo to fall for my own colleague. Then what will come to the next? Can Charles Dickinson be my salvation?