Over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

The Theory of Horse and Buggy

First I will say, in terms of wedding attendant, man has different perspective than woman has. Last Saturday Frackie came to Taipei because I asked him to attend a wedding of my work colleague with me. To be honest, knowing him for years, I've never been to a wedding with him. (Like the preview of a movie!)

Back to the issue what I brought, a mam cerntainly has differnt point of view with regard to wedding, or more precisely, marriage. Frank Sinatra said " Love and marriage, love and marriage, they go together like horse and carriage; you cannot to have one without anyother" I believe the time he sang this song, he had gotten bounded by his wife and a bunch of kids; he tried to persuade unmarried men into the poor where they call it "hell". Does marriage really come after love?

To David and Petty, my colleague and his wife, marriage seemed come very late after love. They have met and dated each other for seven years. Gee, seven years, do you know how long is seven years? Say you give a birth right now and seven years from now, the kiddo is going to elementary school sitting beside the very first opposite sex creature he/she could every meet,and trying to hate the world. But anyway, they are one of happy couples right now. Another interesting fact is that; most of time, David and Petty don't even live together. Because of their different office locations, David lives alone in Danshai and Petty lives with her parents in Taipei city. So is it worty? why people under this kinda circumstance still want to get married?

Then here comes my theroy; the longer two people's relationship last, the less they care about marriage; I am not saying if they want a marriage, but the situation to get married.David just got a position in Asus for not even a year; I bet he is not financially ready to it. So way? why don't they care if the guy is successful in his career before he undertakes the family responsibilty? I say, because of the age of bride, they could not wait.

Of course this is just a though, but marriage does come after marriage, as long as there is a trigger event. (Then where is mine?)

A twist to be

Franck might be going back to France, forever.

We are now facing a twist that will change our life, big one. I received his call this evening on the way back home. he told me that he is haveing a problem in applying his employment pass in Singapore. "How come?" I was surprised. But that was true; he got rejected from Singapore Administration for getting a temporary employment pass; now he cannot make it to be on board next monday. I don't know if he failed to get the temporary one, he still can get the permanent one.

It will be so unfair to him, or to us; he has gone this far to get in Singapore. I refuse to imagine him going back to France, and everything will be staring over again. I am so sorry about the fight I initiated the day before. It was horrible, and destructive. Now I realize it might sweep every effort we had builed so far, and I don't know once he goes back, can we still be so lucky like this?

After hung up on Franckie, the only thought I had was regreting. Why have I done? I swore on the day Frackie left me two years ago that I am willing to sacrifice everything to be with him. But look at me, I have become a monster who is never satisfed. I have obeyed my oath. I promised that I will wait for him for nine years, now it is just one third of it.

Now I will cross my fingers and pray, I will keep on being patient and waitng for him no matter what happens in the next few weeks. And I will not bring him any more pressure from now on and manage to make him happy if he gets chance to stay. God help me, I don't wanna give up.

Sweet Escape--Gwan Stefini

If I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say
I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Whatsoever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

(I wanna get away, to our sweet escape)

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
By the way the you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Ttell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

(Woo-who, yee-who)x4

If I could escape

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place in my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

A Fight in between

We had a fight last night. It was certainly not something stupid,it's fucking serious--our furture.

Somehow I believe that in a relationship, you gotta to find a balance. The effort that one and the other make has to be equivalent, no more, no less; Otherwise, the relationship will not last. But how to measure such effort? how to embody the thing that you cannot see?

No answer; there will never be a proper answer.

I remember the day he left me, I was crying, and feel depressed. It took months to feel myself and other things surrounded me, such as friends, life, movies, and remainding studies. I was sucked up into a vacuum cleaner; it was like someone took my right arm from my body, I struggled to move on without the arm that I used to for a long time. I never expect that he would walk with me for these years, of course I am touched. But where does this relationship lead me? two years have passed and my heart is still empty; I hurt whenever I think about us. He asked, "where is the problem?" I was silent. A Monster between us, it is going to show up one day. I don't even know what it looks like, but I am aware that it will be my worst nightmare. I fully understand that it was my choice; I am doomed to be in love with this persion and be bound by such irresistible, consuming, inconvenient love. I have no leeway. I will not be happy or satisfy even I got out. How pathetic.

I am dissolving; I am dissolving into molecules because of a thoght of losing love to you.

You're still the one--Shania Twain

(This is for us, Bello)


Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

* They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

** (You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

[Repeat *, **]

You're still the one

[Repeat **]

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

To be, or not to be.

To be or not to be, that is the question—
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep—
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to — 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep—
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despis'd[1] love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch[2] and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.[3]