Over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

The Theory of Horse and Buggy

First I will say, in terms of wedding attendant, man has different perspective than woman has. Last Saturday Frackie came to Taipei because I asked him to attend a wedding of my work colleague with me. To be honest, knowing him for years, I've never been to a wedding with him. (Like the preview of a movie!)

Back to the issue what I brought, a mam cerntainly has differnt point of view with regard to wedding, or more precisely, marriage. Frank Sinatra said " Love and marriage, love and marriage, they go together like horse and carriage; you cannot to have one without anyother" I believe the time he sang this song, he had gotten bounded by his wife and a bunch of kids; he tried to persuade unmarried men into the poor where they call it "hell". Does marriage really come after love?

To David and Petty, my colleague and his wife, marriage seemed come very late after love. They have met and dated each other for seven years. Gee, seven years, do you know how long is seven years? Say you give a birth right now and seven years from now, the kiddo is going to elementary school sitting beside the very first opposite sex creature he/she could every meet,and trying to hate the world. But anyway, they are one of happy couples right now. Another interesting fact is that; most of time, David and Petty don't even live together. Because of their different office locations, David lives alone in Danshai and Petty lives with her parents in Taipei city. So is it worty? why people under this kinda circumstance still want to get married?

Then here comes my theroy; the longer two people's relationship last, the less they care about marriage; I am not saying if they want a marriage, but the situation to get married.David just got a position in Asus for not even a year; I bet he is not financially ready to it. So way? why don't they care if the guy is successful in his career before he undertakes the family responsibilty? I say, because of the age of bride, they could not wait.

Of course this is just a though, but marriage does come after marriage, as long as there is a trigger event. (Then where is mine?)

A twist to be

Franck might be going back to France, forever.

We are now facing a twist that will change our life, big one. I received his call this evening on the way back home. he told me that he is haveing a problem in applying his employment pass in Singapore. "How come?" I was surprised. But that was true; he got rejected from Singapore Administration for getting a temporary employment pass; now he cannot make it to be on board next monday. I don't know if he failed to get the temporary one, he still can get the permanent one.

It will be so unfair to him, or to us; he has gone this far to get in Singapore. I refuse to imagine him going back to France, and everything will be staring over again. I am so sorry about the fight I initiated the day before. It was horrible, and destructive. Now I realize it might sweep every effort we had builed so far, and I don't know once he goes back, can we still be so lucky like this?

After hung up on Franckie, the only thought I had was regreting. Why have I done? I swore on the day Frackie left me two years ago that I am willing to sacrifice everything to be with him. But look at me, I have become a monster who is never satisfed. I have obeyed my oath. I promised that I will wait for him for nine years, now it is just one third of it.

Now I will cross my fingers and pray, I will keep on being patient and waitng for him no matter what happens in the next few weeks. And I will not bring him any more pressure from now on and manage to make him happy if he gets chance to stay. God help me, I don't wanna give up.